Managing Finances After Losing a Spouse: A Guide to Finding Stability

Losing a spouse or family member is one of the most challenging experiences one can face. When that person was also the one who managed your family’s finances, the loss can feel even more overwhelming. As advisors, we’ve navigated these situations many times. Each situation is unique because each person is unique.

During this difficult time, it’s important to remember that you don’t have to go through it alone. Whether you’re navigating the family’s finances after the loss of a spouse, or helping a parent in the same situation, we’ve found there are steps you can take to gain awareness and control of your financial life, and we want to serve as a guide through this journey with compassion and care.

Step 1: Take a Breath and Give Yourself Time

First and foremost, allow yourself to grieve. This might be days or weeks but give yourself the grace to process your emotions without the added pressure of tackling complex financial matters immediately. Giving yourself time also means there are a few things not to do, like selling a major asset or feeling pressured to spend extravagantly on a celebration or funeral service. Many people find comfort in a trusted friend to be a confidante and help determine what must be attended to now and what can wait.

Managing finances might feel urgent—and it is important—but it’s okay to take a moment to breathe before starting to address the financial details.

Step 2: Inform Your Advisors

In the days following your loss, inform your financial advisor, CPA, insurance agent, estate attorney, and other advisors so they are aware and can support you at your pace. They should not rush any decisions but can help you gain clarity on important first steps to take.

Step 3: Gather Important Documents

When you’re ready, start taking inventory of your current financial situation by gathering the following financial documents:

• Bank statements (checking, savings, and any other accounts)
• Investment account statements (including stocks, bonds, mutual funds, etc.)
• Insurance policies (life, health, homeowners, auto, etc.)
• Retirement accounts (401(k), IRA, pension plans, etc.)
• Wills and trusts
• Tax returns (typically for the past few years)
• Mortgage documents (or lease agreements if applicable)
• Credit card statements and loan documents
• Utility bills and other regular household expenses
• Passwords and login information for online financial accounts
• Titles and deeds for any property or vehicles

If this feels overwhelming, remember that you can ask for help—whether it’s from a trusted friend, family member, or a professional.

Step 4: Understand Your Current Financial Picture

Once you have your documents in order, take stock of your current financial situation. Here are a few steps to consider:

• List Your Assets: Identify all your assets, such as bank accounts, investment portfolios, retirement accounts, real estate, and any other valuable possessions. Include details like account balances and property values.
• Identify Your Income Sources: Make a list of all sources of income, including salary, pensions, social security, rental income, and any dividends or interest from investments.
• Outline Your Debts and Liabilities: Write down all debts, including mortgages, credit card balances, personal loans, and any other outstanding obligations. Note the interest rates and payment schedules.
• Summarize Your Monthly Expenses: Review your utility bills, subscriptions, insurance premiums, groceries, and other regular expenses to understand what you spend each month. Start by reviewing your last three months’ bank and credit card statements.
• Review Insurance Coverage: Take note of all insurance policies, including life, health, auto, and homeowners to build awareness of what you may and may not be protected for.
• Check Beneficiary Designations: Review designated beneficiaries on your accounts and insurance policies to ensure it reflects your current wishes.
• Evaluate Emergency Savings: Assess how much you have safe and easily accessible for emergencies. Our Emergency Reserve Guide can help you decide on the right amount for your needs.

Understanding where you stand financially is a critical step in moving forward but remember that you don’t have to do this alone.

Step 5: Reach Out for Help

This is where a trusted financial advisor can make a significant difference. Managing finances after such a loss can be complex and emotionally taxing. Sitting down with a trusted friend or your family’s financial advisor can help sort through things and bring clarity. And if you’re working with financial, investment, insurance, tax, and legal advisors, they can do the heavy lifting for you. Make sure they are all on the same page so they can provide the coordinated support you need.

Our goal during a time like this is to listen to your concerns, explain things in clear terms, and respect your pace. Don’t hesitate to ask questions and ensure you feel comfortable all along the way.

Step 6: Review and Update Accounts and Beneficiaries

Next, make any updates to beneficiaries, accounts, and legal documents needed. This includes:

• Updating beneficiary designations on insurance policies, retirement accounts, and investments.
• Making sure your will and any trusts reflect your current wishes.
• Changing ownership of joint accounts to your name.
• Updating titles and deeds on assets like your home, car, and other assets.

This process can feel daunting, but this is another area where your advisors can do much of the work for you.

Step 7: Create a Financial Plan for the Future

Once the immediate tasks are managed, it’s time to think about the future. Your advisor can help you create a financial plan that aligns with your new reality and goals. Whether it’s ensuring you have enough income, planning for retirement, or managing investments, a personalized plan will give you peace of mind and a sense of direction.

Step 8: Take Care of Yourself

Remember, your well-being is the most important thing. Finances are just one part of your life, and it’s okay to take things one step at a time. Lean on your support system—whether that’s family, friends, or professionals—and take care of your emotional health as you navigate this new chapter.

Special Note to the Current Family Financial Manager

If you are the one currently managing your family’s finances, it’s crucial to prepare your spouse for the possibility that they may need to take over someday. Here are some steps you can take to set your spouse up for success:

• Organize Financial Documents: Create a comprehensive, easy-to-access folder (physical or digital) that contains all important financial documents, account numbers, and contact information for your financial institutions and advisors. See our step-by-step article for help.
• Simplify Accounts: Consider consolidating accounts where possible to make managing finances simpler.
• Set Up an Emergency Reserve: In case of the unexpected, having an emergency reserve your family can access will allow them time for Step 1: Taking a Breath and Giving Yourself Time. Again, our Emergency Reserve Guide can help!
• Create a Financial Roadmap: Write down a clear, step-by-step guide that outlines your family’s financial plan, including where assets are held, how bills are paid, and any important deadlines.
• Hold Regular Financial Check-ins: Start having regular discussions about your family’s finances with your spouse. This doesn’t have to be overwhelming—just enough to ensure they are familiar with the basics and could more easily navigate the steps above.
• Establish Relationships: Make introductions to your financial advisor, CPA, and any other financial professionals you work with. This way, they’ll have trusted contacts to turn to if they need help.
• Document Your Wishes: Make sure your will and any trusts are up-to-date, and that your family knows where these documents are located and understands your wishes.

Taking these steps can bring peace of mind, knowing that your family will be better prepared to manage finances if they ever need to.

You’re Not Alone

Facing the future after losing your spouse is incredibly difficult, especially when you find yourself in charge of finances for the first time. But you don’t have to do it alone. Our team is here to help you every step of the way, offering guidance, support, and a steady hand as you regain your footing.

If you or someone you care about is in this situation, please know that reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Together, we can build a plan that honors your spouse’s legacy while ensuring your future is secure.

This article is meant to offer support and guidance during a challenging time. Feel free to share it with anyone who might need it. Remember, you don’t have to face this alone—help is always available!